Guilty Pleasures

We turn the tables on one of the
oldest scams in history…

Reprinted from 2009 on Throw-Back Thursday…



ALL OF YOU HAVE RECEIVED ONE, WE’RE SURE.
The email with the subject of “Very Urgent Investment Transaction,” the entire letter in upper case, and the gist being the wealthy person who has died and left tens of millions of dollars in a foreign bank account. In order to access it, a foreigner needs to help and said help is good for a 50-50 split. That share of the approximately $15 million is realized for a small fee, to be paid up front, of course.

When we received one of these recently, we just couldn’t resist. Inspired by the people at www.whatsthebloodypoint.com, who practically make a living out of this sort of thing, we decided to play along with it. What follows is our chronicle of correspondence between Prince Jim Udu West and Theodore Fumpleroy.

Do we not have better things to do with our time? Well, yes. Are we not ashamed of ourselves for stooping to their level and for trying to cause trouble? Let us remember that these money scammers are criminals, pure and simple. And hey, we have gotten a monthly article out of the charade.

We won’t bother to enter “[sic]” designations all over the place; just know that this is all verbatim, typos, fractured English and all…


From: PRINCE JIM UDU WEST [mailto:jim222@asurfer.com]
Sent: Saturday, May 15, 2004 2:09 PM
To: write_to_us@altman.com
Subject: VERY URGENT INVESTMENT TRANSACTION.

DEAR PARTNER,

IN ORDER TO TRANSFER OUT ( TWENTY SIX MILLIONU.S.DOLLARS) FROM OUR BANK. I HAVE THE COURAGE TO LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND HONEST PERSON WHO WILL BE CAPABLE FOR THIS IMPORTANT TRANSACTION. BELIEVING THAT YOU WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN EITHER NOW OR IN FUTURE.

I AM PRINCE JIM UDU WEST.THE AUDITOR AND COMPUTING MANAGER UNITED BANK OF AFRICA [U.B.]. THERE IS AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN THIS BANK IN 1980 AND SINCE 1990 NOBODY HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS, I DISCOVERED THAT IF I DO NOT REMITT THIS MONEY OUT URGENTELY,IT WILL BE FORFEITED FOR NOTHING.

THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR GAVIN LADHAMS A FOREIGNER AND THE MANAGER OF PETROL CHEMICAL SERVICE, A CHEMICAL ENGINEER BY PROFFESSION AND HE DIED SINCE 1980.AND THEN,SINCE 1990, NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT OR ANYTHING CONCERNING IT, THE ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT HIS COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT AND THE AMOUNT INVOLVED IS (U.S.$26,000,000.00).

I WANT TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY INTO A SAFE FOREIGN ACCOUNT ABROAD BUT I DON’T KNOW ANY FOREIGNER, I AM ONLY CONTACTING YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO ANY LOCAL BANK HERE BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGN ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS U.S DOLLARS AND THE FORMER OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT IS MR GAVIN LADHAMS AND HE WAS A FOREIGNER TOO.

YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT I HAVE CONTACTED FOR THIS INVESTMENT FOR NOW. SO PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

WHEN THE TRANSFER IS APPROVED AND PAYMENT SCHEDULE IS ALOCATED OVERSEAS,THROUGH THE OFFSHORE PAYING DELEGATE FOR FINAL CLEARANCE AND SIGNING OF THE PAYMENT REALEASE FORM BY THE BENEFICIARY, I WANT US TO SEE AT THE OVERSEA PAYING CLEARANCE OFFICE FACE TO FACE OR SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL BINDDING AGREEMENT TO BIND US TOGETHER SO THAT,WE CAN RECEIVE THIS MONEY INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT OR ANY ACCOUNT OF YOUR CHOICE WHERE THE FUND WILL BE REMITTED.

I NEED YOUR CO-OPERATION TO MAKE THIS WORK FINE, BECAUSE THE MANAGEMENT IS READY TO APPROVE THIS PAYMENT TO ANY FOREIGNER WHO HAS THE CORRECT INFORMATION TO THIS ACCOUNT,WHICH I WILL GIVE TO YOU WHEN SURE OF YOUR CAPABILITY TO HANDLE SUCH AMOUNT IN STRICT CONFIDENCE AND TRUST.

I WILL USE MY POSITION AND INFLUENCE ON OTHER STAFFS TO EFFECT THE LEGAL APPROVALS AND ONWARD TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITH APPROPRIATE CLEARANCE FROM FOREIGN PAYMENT DEPARTMENT. WITH ASSURANCE THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING MY PHYSICAL ARRIVAL TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE SHARING AND OTHER INVESTMENT.

AT THE CONCLUSION OF THIS INVESTMENT, YOU WILL BE GIVEN 50% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT. I AM WAITING FOR YOU URGENT RESPONS.

THANK

PRINCE JIM UDU.


Date: Sat, 15 May 2004 07:59:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Urgent Investment Transaction
To: jim222@asurfer.com, jim_200@mail8.com

Dear Prince West —

I will help you in your endeavor to transfer this account to a U.S. bank. My brother-in-law and uncle are both bankers, so I have a lot of experience in these sorts of transactions…and I could use the share of the proceeds.

Theodore Fumpleroy
Los Angeles, CA


From: “prince jim udu west” <jim_200@mail8.com>
To: fumpleroy@yahoo.com
Subject: AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 09:08:35 GMT

Dear Theodore Fumpleroy.

Thanks for your response and willingness to help me in this transaction.I want you to understand that this transaction is 100% risk free, and my only concern now is the security of my own share of the money when transfered into your account.I wiil come over to your country for sharing as soon as the money is transfered to your account because i will like to invest my own share in your country.I also want to tell you that nobody knows about this money except me and you,and you should not let anybody to know about it untill we conclude everthing,because of security reasons.

What I mean here is, can I trust you? you know the amount involved and this is my life. If I can trust, then lets proceed with the actualising of the transaction.

1: I want to let you know that i need a reliable account details from you where the fund will be to transferred. If you can be fast, The transfer can be concluded under 7 banking days.

2: With the account information, I will start to process the Foreign Payment Approval in your favour from the Federal Ministry of Finance.

3: Once the fund is approved for transfer in your favour, you as the foreign beneficiary will be required to sign the Final Fund Release Order in person in the presence of the management of the bank here.

Send to me as a matter of urgency the underlisted to enable me to change some certain things in our bank.
send me:
1. YOUR FULL NAME.
2. YOUR OCCUPATION
3: DATE OF BIRTH
4. THE BANK DETAILS WHICH WILL BE USED FOR THE TRANSFER.( A credit account balance is ok for the transfer)
5. YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS.
6. YOUR PICTURE.
7. YOUR PHONE/FAX NUMBERS.

Finally, call me with my private tel number: 234-xx-35411697. I am happily married with four children.
MY OFFICE ADDRESS IS :
UNITED BANK OF AFRICA PLC.
71 CROWDER STREET
ABUJA, NIGERIA.

Further details awaits your urgent response.Please you should send your details to me as soon as you get this mail so that i will call you to explain everything to
you.Please always reply me with this new email address as it is very confidential to me. NOTE:Send your informations to me as soon as you.

Prince Jim


Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 06:47:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY
To: “prince jim udu west” <jim_200@mail8.com>

Good morning, Prince Jim!

I am eager to begin this exciting transaction with you. Call me Hot Toddie; everyone does. I had a long talk with my uncle, Gordon Fardgas (the one who is a banker, as I was telling you about), and he had a very good idea about how we can make this transaction go even more smoothly and without any tax liability whatsoever. Here in the USA, we would have to pay taxes on every dime that we collect from this inheritance. He says you would have to also, but I don’t know how much the tax laws are enforced in Nigeria.

Anyway, my information is as follows:
——————-
Theodore Fumpleroy
1380 South Tennison Ave. [The address of a Round Table Pizza]
Los Angeles, CA 90025

I just had cosmetic surgery, so any photo I have taken right now won’t look much like me. Give me about four days so that my face can heal. There are two questions that I want to ask you:

1. I assume that to make this transaction happen, there are fees that we pay up front. What is the total amount of that fee? It’s okay if you have to estimate.

2. Are you able to travel outside of Nigeria?

I ask these two questions because, again, I have an idea that could make this transaction even more lucrative. I eagerly await your reply, Prince…!

Hot Toddie

[Normally, the scammers take a long and circuitous route to the point where they tell you what funds to send; we wanted to cut right to the chase and so we treated the notion of paying a fee as trivial.]

 


Date: Wed, 19 May 2004 04:22:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: ALWAYS REPLY ME WITH THIS NEW EMAIL ADDRESS.
To: fumpleroy@yahoo.com

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, NOW, AS HAVING RECEIVED YOUR FULL DETAILS AS ASKED, I WILL BE MOVING FOR THE APPLICATION OF CLAIMS ON YOUR BEHALF WITH THE CONCERNED QUATERS [??] AS TO SEEK FOR THE APPROVALS TO YOUR BEHALF, PLEASE CALL ME FOR US TO TALK MORE, AS REGARDS TO THIS TRANSFER, WHICH WE SHALL ALL BENEFIT FROM. FINALLY, PLEASE BE ASSURED THAT THIS TRANSFER IS LEGAL AND RISK FREE, AS WE WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM, AS ALL I NEED FROM YOU, IS TO FOLLOW MY DIRECTIONS, AS TO A FREE AND SAFE TRANSFER, AS WITH MY POSITION HERE, WE WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM.

AS TO EXPENSES, I WOULD NOT KNOW, BUT I KNOW THAT IT WILL NOT COST MUCH, PLEASE CALL ME AS SOON AS THIS MAIL IS RECEIVED.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.


Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 00:08:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Transaction
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Hello, Prince —

I tried to call you on the number you gave me, but I think that my telephone service does not allow access to the exchange used by your country.

I did not understand some of the things you said in your last email:

I WILL BE MOVING FOR THE APPLICATION OF
CLAIMS ON YOUR BEHALF WITH THE CONCERNED
QUATERS, AS TO SEEK FOR THE APPROVALS
TO YOUR BEHALF.

I do not know what a quater is or what it means to seek for the approvals to your behalf.

You say that you do not know what the expenses are. I would presume that the transfer fees would be no less than $500 in US currency, right? Again, I have an idea that would really turn this transaction into a great thing. Please ask your banking institution for an estimate of the transfer fees that you would need me to share with you. I don’t need an exact amount…

Hot Toddie


Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 08:19:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, NOW, EVERY OTHER FEES HAVE BEEN TAKEN CARE OF, AS THE ONLY FEES NEEDED IS 8,900$, THEREFORE, YOU SHOULD BE SENDING THIS IMMEDIATELY, VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AS FOR THE ATTORNEY TO COLLECT THE MONEY AND MAKE THE STAMP DUTY FEES
IMMEDIATELY.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.


Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 13:44:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, I’ve got a better idea…

Are you able to travel at all — like to Morocco, Spain, or Tunisia? My brother-in-law and I have been doing a bit of research into this terrific opportunity. The tax laws of those three countries are much friendlier to inheritances. If we took care of this transaction in one of those places, we would make a lot more money, and I would be willing to pay you more for the effort. I propose this:

1. We will open an account in one of those countries, maybe in Madrid or in Casablanca. We will make sure to give you the account number so you can make the deposit.

2. We meet in that city. My plane fare will not be cheap, but it will be worth it.

3. I will hand-deliver to you a cashier’s check of not $8,900 but $18,900. That is just about how much we would save by doing this there in Madrid, Casablanca, or a city nearby.

4. I’ll give you the account information and return home.

5. You transfer the inheritance to the holding account, and as soon as the money clears, we will prepare a wire transfer or a cashier’s check for your share.

How does this sound? We are very excited over here!!
Theodore

[How far would he go with his scam? Could we dangle an additional carrot before him and get him on a thousand-mile journey? We tried to make it as enticing as possible.]


Date: Sat, 22 May 2004 10:56:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, ANYWAY, I AM BEGINGING TO SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS, AS TO HANDLE THIS DEAL, AS I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT AND YOUR SUGGESTION IS ALL ABOUT. I WILL STOP EVERY PROCESS, WHICH ARE BEEN DONE TO YOUR NAME, AS REGARDS TO THIS CLAIMS.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.

[Darn, maybe we went too far…]


Date: Sat, 22 May 2004 21:02:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince Jim, I have tried to call you, but I have repeatedly gotten a “circuit unavailable” message. But more importantly, what in heaven’s name has given you the impression that I am not serious? My brother-in-law and I are VERY serious. So serious, in fact, that we are willing to fly halfway across the world in order to meet you, serious enough to open an account in a foreign country, and serious enough to add $10,000 to the fee in order to make this transaction worthwhile to you. What ever gave you the impression that I am not serious??

You say that you cannot understand what my suggestion is about, so I will state it again:

1. We meet in a country that you are able to travel to. I suggest Spain or Morocco.

2. I give you a cashier’s check for $18,900 and then return to the United States.

3. You deposit the inheritance in an account that I have set up.

4. I wire half of the funds to you once it is there.

What part of this do you not understand. It all seems perfectly clear to me…

Theodore


Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 07:32:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, PLEASE, YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A CLAIMS, WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN APPLIED FOR THE APPROVALS ON YOUR BEHALF, WHICH WE ARE EXPECTING TO HAVE BY MONDAY, BEEN TOMORROW, WHICH AS SOON AS RECEIVED, A COPY WILL BE SENT TO YOU, WHILE THE ORIGINALS SENT TO THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF. SECONDLY, YOU SHOULD AS WELL UNDERSTAND THAT I CANNOT TRAVEL OUT, AS I HAVE TO BE HERE, AND ENSURE THAT THIS FUNDS IS WIRED OUT TO YOUR ACCOUNT, BEFORE TRAVELLING, THEREFORE, AS SOON AS WE ARE ABLE TO GET THE APPROVALS BY TOMORROW, YOU WILL BE SENDING THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AS TO MAKE THE PAYMENT FOR THE FEES REMAINING, FOR THE FINAL ENDORSEMENT TO BE RECEIVED, AS FOR THE FUNDS TO BE WIRED OUT OUTRIGHTLY.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.


Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 11:46:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Okay. I like my idea better but I guess we’ll do it your way. Tell me where to send the Western Union telegram and how much to send and we’ll take care of it this week.

Todd


Date: Mon, 24 May 2004 03:58:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, NOW, THE APPROVALS HAVE BEEN RECEIVED, AS IT IS WITH ME NOW, AS ALREADY THE ORIGINALS HAVE BEEN SENT TO THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF, NOW, THE FEES REMAINING IS $8,900, AND YOU SHOULD SEND IT IMMEDIATELY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE NAME AS GIVEN BY THE ATTORNEY:

BARRISTER UDEICHI LAWRENCE,
OBINNA CHAMBERS,
NO 1 AKWUKE CLOSE
FESTAC TOWN, ABUJA.

PLEASE GO THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, AND SEND THE MONEY, AND SEND THE CONTROL NUMBER/TEST QUESTIONS OF THE MONEY SENT. HAVE A NICE DAY.

PRINCE JIM.
PLEASE, I WANT TO TALK WITH YOU OVER THE PHONE.


Date: Mon, 24 May 2004 09:42:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The Transaction
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Two questions, Prince:

1. Who is Barrister Udeichi Lawrence? Why is he receiving this money? I would be more comfortable sending this money to you. I trust you!

2. I’m thinking that I would use part of my share of the inheritance to invest in a business there in Nigeria. Do you think that $50,000 USD would be enough to start a business there? Of course, soon I’ll have much more to invest, but that is the amount that I could afford to spend right now, and I might as well start planning for that now.

Theodore


Date: Tue, 25 May 2004 02:56:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I WAS HAPPY HEARING FROM YOU, WELL, YOU ARE FREE TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME, BUT LIKE YOU KNOW THAT I CONTRACTED AN ATTORNEY WHO IS REPRESENTING YOU HERE, AS TO HANDLE THIS CLAIMS, AND HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL BE MAKING THE PAYMENT ON YOUR BEHALF, BESIDES, WHOEVER THE MONEY IS BEEN SENT TO , DOES NOT MATTER, THEREFORE, PLEASE SEND IT TO THE ATTORNEY AS ASKED, FOR THIS REMAINIGN FEES TO EB PAID, FOR THIS FINAL ENDORSEMENT TO BE RECEIVED. HAVE A NICE DAY.

PRINCE JIM.


Date: Tue, 25 May 2004 14:26:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, I have one small request. Do you have a digital camera or a scanner? I would like for us to exchange photos. Doing business over the Internet can be so impersonal, and as we are about to exchange a large sum of money, I would like to see if we can make things a bit more familiar. Also, as I stated earlier, I intend to reinvest a lot of this inheritance back in your native country. Are there pig farms in Nigeria? I think that would be a good thing to pursue.

Can you please send me a digital photo of yourself? Then I’ll do the same…

Theodore


[No response for over a day; sounds like a good time to panic…]

Date: Wed, 26 May 2004 22:43:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Photo of you?
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, are you able to send me a photo? I’m waiting anxiously…

Theodore


[Still no response. Better change the tone…]

Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 07:57:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: It’s okay, you don’t have to
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, did I scare you away with my request for a photograph? It’s okay if you don’t have a photo to send me. Please don’t stop writing me just because of that. Instead, maybe you can just tell me a bit about yourself, and if you want, I’ll still send you a photo. You know, $8,900 is a lot of money to spend on someone you just met, and I just want to know a bit more about the person I’m doing business with. That’s all…

Theodore


Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 10:52:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS, AS I ONCEMORE ATTACH HERE MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT, AND WHEREBY IT IS NOT OKAY BY YOU, THEN, I WILL HAVE TO LOOK FOR A RELIABLE PERSON TO CONTINUE THIS TRANSFER, AND HAVE YOUR SHARE TAKEN, AS I AM BEGINING TO SEE THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO HELP OUT IN THIS TRANSFER.

HAVE A NICE DAY.
PRINCE JIM.

The honorable Prince Jim Udu West

The honorable Prince Jim Udu West

[Is he beginning to lose patience? Can’t quite tell — wonder how much further we can string him out…]


Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 20:40:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Photo Exchange
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Not only am I totally excited about doing my part of the transfer, I am sending you one of my favorite photos. It is really silly, because I just won a jackpot of over $15,000 and then I wandered off to the beach and started giving the money away to anyone I saw. Would you like to see some PowerPoint slides that include photos of my family, too? I have several of my Aunt Girdie and Uncle Dashpot, and it’s only a 12MB download. Can I please send them??

Here he is: Theodore Fumpleroy

Here he is: Theodore Fumpleroy

You are a very handsome man and I am honored to be doing business with you! You see, this is why I wanted us to do this; now I am more excited than ever to go forward. And speaking of which, I need your advice: What would be a good business in Nigeria for me to invest in? Before the inheritance money becomes available, I have about $55,000 US to spend and I could see you as a general manager of a business there. I was thinking about pig farming, but maybe you have a better idea. What do you think?

BTW, just curious: if you have a passport, then you could travel to another country. Are you sure you don’t want to set up a meeting in Morocco or in Spain? To invest the $55,000 in a Nigerian business, I would need to set up an account trustee and you would be the perfect person to do that. What do you think, Prince?

Theodore

 


Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 04:12:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT TO ME, AND THE PHOTOS SENT, NOW, PLEASE SEND THE MONEY FOR THE STAMP FEES, FOR THIS TO BE CONCLUDED, FOR THIS FUNDS TO BE WIREDOUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.

PRINCE JIM.


[Better start getting down to business now…]

Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 07:59:17 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT (very urgent)
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Dear Prince —

I just returned from my bank where I tried to send you the funds via Western Union, as we agreed. However, the bank did not have all of the information that it needed, and when the teller asked me for it, I did not know it either. Here is what they say I need:

– Routing Number
– Security Destination Code (required since 9/11)
– Country Identification Expression

I tried to call you from the bank (I was able to get through from the phones there) but it was in the middle of the night for you and nobody answered.

If you are able to get that information for me, I will try again. Or remember, my offer still stands to meet you in Morocco or in Madrid with $18,900 and we can do this in person, where we won’t need any of the above information.

Theodore


Date: Sun, 30 May 2004 04:56:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT (very urgent)
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, NOW, TO SEND WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, YOU DO NOT NEED SUCH DETAILS, AS ALL YOU NED IS THE NAME AND ADDRESS/COUNTRY, WHERE THE MONEY WILL BE PICKED. PLEASE, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BUT IF YOU WANT THE MONEY TO BE SENT BY ACCOUNT, THAT IS BANKTOBANK, THEN, I CAN SEND TO YOU AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT, FRO YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THERE IMMEDIATELY, AND SEND THE TRANSFER SLIP, AS SOON AS THE MONEY IS SENT. HAVE A NICE DAY.

PRINCE JIM.

I ALSWAYS GET CONFUSED, THAT YOU COMPLAIN THAT MY PHONE IS NOT WORKING, PLEASE WHEREBY YOU CAN’T GET ME, SEND ME YOURS, AS TO CALL YOU, AND TALK WITH YOU.

[The more experienced reverse-scammers set up temporary telephone numbers so that they can actually talk to the scammers. I didn’t quite have the nerve to try that, so we will have to continue to sidestep any requests to communicate by telephone.]


Date: Mon, 31 May 2004 21:24:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT (very urgent)
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, the best number to reach me on is 323-663-8301. I will make the Western Union transfer tomorrow when the banks open. Today is a holiday…

Theodore

[Thank you once again, Round Table Pizza parlor…]


Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 06:47:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT (very urgent)
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore,

THANKS, AS I JUST CALLED THE LINE, WHICH WAS RINGIN NO REPLY, PLEASE CALL ME, AND SEND THE DETAILS OF THE MONEY SENT, AS SOON AS IT IS WIRED VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.


Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 09:39:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: The money is transfered!
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, it’s done!

I just got back from the bank, and we wired the money! It’s my first time ever sending a wire transfer and I have to say it was very exciting. I’d like to do it a few more times. The minimum amount you can wire is $50 — can I send you $50 more??

I am so excited about becoming your business partner. I’ve never met a prince before. What type of prince are you? Do you come from Nigerian royalty? Is your father the king, or your mother the queen? Do you get to sleep with satin sheets or drink orange juice from the royal sippie cup?

When can we meet? And can I get your autograph for my kids??

Theodore


Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 09:45:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

SEND THE CONTROL NUMBER/TEST QUESTIONS PLEASE IF THIS
MONEY HAS BEEN SENT.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.

[Hmm, having visited WesternUnion.com for the first time, I do see references to a control number and to a test question. We were tempted to “mistakenly” send him .89 instead of $8,900, but we would have to divulge our real identity (can’t open a Western Union account with a fake name like you can a Yahoo email account), not to mention pay a $15 fee.]


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 00:00:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

I sent the funds to the BARRISTER UDEICHI LAWRENCE, using the address you gave me.

I was given the following Money Transfer Control Number: WJ5-742-XBV-904.

I was asked to provide a test question: What is your favorite sport? I answered “tennis.”

It seemed to go just fine from my end. Please let me know when we can begin discussing my opening a pig farming business there in your country and naming you the general manager.

Theodore


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 03:34:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS AGAIN, WELL, I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU ARE A HOPELESS MAN, AND A MAD MAN, AS YOU ARE NOT A SERIOUS MAN. F— OUT IMMEDIATELY.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.

[Laughing Out Loud! First he thanks me, then cusses at me, and then he thanks me again. So we might be at the end of our rope here…]


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 06:36:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

What are you talking about? I have been completely earnest and sincere with you from the beginning. Why are you using profanity against me now? What have I done to anger you?

Did I not do the Western Union telegram correctly? It sure seemed as if I did. Please tell me what is the matter and I will fix it.

You should be more respectful of those who have tried to work with you; I might have made a mistake, but I do not deserve to be sworn at.

[We’ll see if some hurt feelings get a bit of mileage…]


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 07:54:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE EMAIL SENT, AS ANYWAY, I WAS NOT HAPPY ON RECEIVING THE EMAIL SENT TO ME BEFORE, THAT WAS WHY I TALKED THAT WAY, AS THE WHOLE SITUATION, SEEMS THAT WE HAVE BEEN PLAYING. NOW, THE DETAILS GIVEN WHICH IS :

Money Transfer Control Number: WJ5-742-XBV-904

What is your favorite sport? Tennis

THIS IS INCORRECT, AS CONTROL NUMBER MUST BE IN FIGURES, AND IT MUST BE TEN DIGIT NUMBERS, THEREFORE, EITHER SCAN THE SLIP OF THE WESTERN UNION MONEY SENT, OR LOOK FOR THE REAL CONTROL NUMBER, AND SEND, FOR THIS TO BE FINALIZED IMMEDIATELY.

THANKS,
PRINCE JIM.

ALSO, I WILL LIKE TO TALK WITH YOU OVER THE PHONE PLEASE,


[Still got him going. Might as well play the hurt feelings card a bit longer…]

Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 09:34:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

This whole situation has become very distressing to me. Prince, you should take a moment and see it through my eyes:

1. Instead of paying you $8,900, I propose to pay you $18,900. You tell me no.

2. I suggest a $55,000 investment in a business there in Nigeria, with an offer to make you the general manager, with an annual salary likely to be in excess of $75,000. I have successfully started similar businesses in eight other countries (including Kenya), so I know what I’m talking about. You say that you are not interested in even hearing the details.

3. I offer to fly all the way to your continent to meet you. You say you cannot.

4. Then when I make one little mistake with Western Union (a service I have never used before), you get so frustrated as to swear at me.

It should be clear to you from our correspondence that money is not nearly as important to me as building relationships. Frankly, I have more money than I will ever know what to do with, so when opportunities like this come along to be able to start new businesses, I become excited about them. I’m trying to create something that will make several hundred thousand dollars for both of us and you’re getting mad at me over a little wire transfer mistake.

I need your promise that you will never use language like that with me again. It upsets me greatly.


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 12:20:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE DETAILED EMAIL SENT TO ME, AS I HAVE ALREADY APPOLIGIZED THE WAY I SOUNDED TO YOU, AS IT IS DUE TO THE PRESSURE ON ME.

NOW, I AGREE TO ALL YOUR BUSINESS, BUT MY MAJOR AIM NOW, IS FOR THE FUNDS TO BE WIRED OUT, AFTER WHICH, WE WILL NOW HAVE A ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION, ON HOW BEST AND ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. KINDLY PLEASE SEND THE CONTROL OR THE SLIP, AS FOR THIS MONEY TO BE COLLECTED, AND THE PAYMENT MADE.

HAVE A NICE DAY.
PRINCE JIM.


Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 21:20:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

I’m no longer 100% certain that this is the right thing to do. I conduct business in order to establish relationships, not to make money. You don’t seem to value our relationship as much as you value my money…at least that’s the way it feels to me now.

Now I wonder if it wouldn’t be better for me to find some other investment to spend my $55,000 on. An investment that is worthy of my time and attention and that can be conducted with mutual respect.

Either that or you’ll need to convince me that you’re that person. Right now, Prince Jim, I’m not so sure…

[This is now like holding a feather in your hand—it’s about to blow away any minute now…]


[No response for almost 36 hours…]


Date: Wed, 3 Jun 2004 23:16:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>

DEAR Theodore Fumpleroy ,

THANKS FOR THE DETAILED EMAIL SENT TO ME, AND I WILL AGAIN ALREADY APOLIGIZE TO YOU FOR THE PRESSURE TO ME.

PLEASE GIVE US ONE MORE CHANCE. I PROMISE TO VALUE FOR BESIDES YOUR MONEY. THIS PAYMENT HAS BEEN THE WORK OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND IT HAS BEEN MUCH PRESSURE.

PLEASE THINK OF HOW YOU CAN BEST WORK TO ME AND I WILL BEHAVE BETTER.

HAVE A NICE DAY.
PRINCE JIM.


]This really feels like the end of the line. I wonder if we should succumb to the guiltiest pleasure of them all…]


[Left him hanging all of Thursday. I think it’s time…]


Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 20:33:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Theodore Fumpleroy” <fumpleroy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: URGENT
To: “princ jim udu west” <prince_jim200@yahoo.com>

Prince, thanks for your email. As you suggested, I have been thinking about how I can best work with you, and I think I know exactly what that might be. Furthermore, I have a fair amount of experience with it, because actually, I’ve been working you for the past two weeks.

The amazing thing is that you really and truly thought that I had even the slightest notion of paying you one lousy penny. That’s hysterical! It was pretty funny the path I led you down and the way in which I made a total fool out of you. But really, Prince, it’s even funnier that you actually thought you were going to receive money from me. Imagine that…I, a law-abiding citizen, paying you, an obvious fraud and swindler.

And I’ll tell you what is even funnier, Prince Jim. I wish I could see the look on Barrister Udeichi Lawrence’s face when the African division of the Federal Bureau of Investigation shows up at his doorstep with international extradition papers and an arrest warrant. After all, he didn’t do anything wrong; you just used his name as the person to receive the money. Unless…oh, wait a minute…that wouldn’t be your real name, would it? It’s not possible that you were so stupid as to use your real name as the recipient…no, nobody could be that dumb.

Ha ha ha…well, that was a most delightful two weeks. Thank you very much for providing so much entertainment. Oh, and one more thing…

Have a nice day…


[Imagine our surprise upon discovering that the email account for prince_jim200@yahoo.com has been closed.]

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